


“Your Whole Life will Flip!”

by griffle



Series: Listen, I can explain [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A Kobe Moment, Alliances are made, Alternate History, College AU, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Les Mis makes a small appearance, Multi, Prank Wars, Texting, alternative universe, swears are said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 02:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15110324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/griffle/pseuds/griffle
Summary: JL: I need vengeanceGL: Oh lordAH: I’m in____________________In which the Rev Boys start a prank war





	“Your Whole Life will Flip!”

**Author's Note:**

> i. This piece l. 
> 
> Also: I work! In Technical Theatre and I’m in my nomadic “i go wherever” type of career phase so if I disappear- I’m not really dead, just exhausted/busy/writer’s block from work. I haven’t forgotten this!  
> —————  
> JM: James Madison  
> AB: Aaron Burr  
> GL: Lafayette  
> TJ: Thomas Jefferson  
> AH: Alexander Hamilton  
> JL: John Laurens  
> HM: Hercules Mulligan  
> ES: Eliza Schyluer  
> AS: Angelica Schyluer  
> PS: Peggy Schyluer  
> MR: Maria Renolds  
> TB: Theodosia Bartlow

 

* * *

 

JL: FUCK MARIUS

AH: Which one?

GL: Already did lol

HM: Which one?

GL: You asking me or John, cause ‘two’ for me lol.

HM: John.

AH: Wait, which Marius- @Laf

JL: FUCK MARIUS FROM PHILOSOPHY

GL: Marius-from-Accounting and Marius-from-Law

GL: Oh. Yeah no that dude is a dick

AH: Seconded 

HM: Thirs

JL: YOU KNOW WHAT THUAT BIAHT DID

JL: MOFO BOOBT TRAPED ME 

GL: “biaht”

HM: When you’re so angry you forget to text.

AH: Booby trapped?

JL: So you know how much I love WAwa, right? 

AH: Yes

GL: Sí

HM: Yea

JL: So usually Dr. Haldane gives us donuts when we do good on tests as a reward for actually studying our asses off cause his tests are horrific. And he tends to get like, a fuckton from walmart in the cheap bins but if you’re super lucky/early you can get one of the 2 dozen he gets from wawa.

JL: Its a class of 45 so ofc everyone tries and gets early for the good donuts. Else you get the stale powdered type. Which- not bad, but sTILL 

GL: Ew

JL: IKR. So yours truly leaves the comfort of sleepy bf to get his ass early.

JL: He waits. For fucking ever. For his quest. His vision.

JL: And then. The scent of his yearning graces his nostrils. The quest is almost at an end. Frodo is in Mordor. Harry is facing Voldemort. We almost have the Cup.

HM: Which cup?

JL: All the sports cup. But anyway, I was so cLOSE.

JL: And then I saw them. 

JL: I was so focused on the donuts I didn’t pay attention to who was bringing them in

GL: Was it Marius?

JL:...yes. But we’re not there yet

JL: Back to my TRAGEDY 

JL: The door is unlocked. The donuts are there. Glorious, beautiful, donuts. John rushes in. He takes one of the delicious holes and takes a deep bite.

JL: Shaving cream fills his mouth as Marius and his fuckers die laughing

AH: Right, you have it with Jolly and Enjolras.

JL: because APPARENTLY MARIUS

JL: THE DUMB MOFO THAT HE IS

JL: DECIDES TGAT TODAY WAS THE DAY OF PRANKS

JL:SOMEHOW HACKED THE PROF EMAIL SENT OT A FAKE ONE AND THEN MADE THE TRAVESTY OF THE DONUT NAMES

JL: JUST TO FUCK WITH ME

HM: Are you sure just you?

GL: Could be for others, a general prank

JL: Yes, that too, but it’s also cause Dr. Haldane likes me and hates Marius cause he keeps texting his gf in class

AH: That’s their own damn fault then

JL: Like the guy can’t stop and put his phone down for ONE second. And it’s all ‘Cossette’ this and ‘Cossette’ that. It’s surprising how much he gets away with it.

GL: Probably cause his Dad is dean of philosophy.

HM: Wait, seriously?

GL: Mm. Or else he and the dean just look eerily a like.

JL: Right well.

JL: I need vengeance 

GL: Oh lord

AH: I’m in

HM: Count me in too.

GL:?!

HM: Enjolras been on my shit list since he made that fucked up joke about my parents

AH: Wait, THAT was him?

GL: He was the AIDS guy?

AH: Oh, those mofos gonna die tonight

GL: I’m lusting for their blood.

JL: We’re gonna prank the Living shit out of them

AH: No one fucks with our crew. And I have the best idea.

* * *

TJ: BURR

TJ: [image sent]

TJ: BITCH ANSWER ME I KNOW YOU CHECK YOUR PHONE NOW.

TJ: WHAT THE FUCK

AB: Good morning Thomas. I am doing well, thank you. How are you?

TJ: Dont give me that petty ass niceties Burr, I was raised on that shit and will eat you alive if you try me. What the fuck am I seeing?

AB: I take it the picture, which looks like Jolly from Creative Writing Class is entangled in the same prank Hamilton sprung on you freshman year

TJ: You take Creative Writing?

AB: As an elective. With Prof. Cleland

TJ: ...is it any good? 

AB: Meh

TJ: Anyways, I want to know WHY THAT FUCKER TOOK MY PRANK

AB: What?

TJ: THATS MY PRANK. NOT THAT WHITE FAKE FRENCH CRETIN. 

AB: You’re pissed about the prank? Why?

TJ: Because it’s my prank, dipshit.

AB: Dont

 

TJ: Sorry

TJ: But it’s- it’s my prank. And Hamilton is my nemesis. And here he’s using my prank on some...low class,french wannabe that has alright hair- it’s infuriating. It’s like if Hamilton decided to ignore you and hang out with Adams.

AB: 1.- Never gonna happen. Adams is a moron and Hamilton may be an idiot, he’s a idiot with a brain and knows better than to hang out with him.

TJ: Meh

AB: 2- It’s a prank. Probably what happened is that the ABCs pissed off the Four

TJ: Quartet

AB: What?

TJ. They’re the Quartet. 

AB: ...fine, the Quartet. Either or, it doesn’t concern you, or me, or anyone, really.

TJ: Find out

AB: I have class

TJ: would $50 help in your favor? And maybe tickets to that concert that Theodosia has been wanting to go?

AB:...fine.

* * *

AB: Alexander

AH: Sí?

AB: [image sent]

AB: I take it this is your doing?

AH: Why would you think that? 

AB: you literally did the same exact prank freshman year on Thomas.

AH: Really? Wow.

AB: Alexander.

AH: Don’t worry about it Burr.

AB: Thomas unfortunately was able to bribe me, so yes I will worry.

AH: Thomas. Thomas Jefferson?

AB: How many Thomases you know that are able to sway me?

AH: 4

AB: I.

AB: What’s going on?

AH: I’ll tell you if you tell me why Jefferson wants to know

AB: An easy answer. He’s pissed that you reused the prank from freshman year. He claims it’s ‘his.’

AH: What??

AB: I said it was an easy answer, not one that made sense. Spill.

AH: Some of the ABC group played a prank and we also found out they made a really fucked up joke about Herc’s parents so here we are.

AB: I see. 

AB: Well. Carry on. God help you. 

* * *

AH: Jefferson

TJ: New phone who dis

AH: You got pissed caused I used a prank?

TJ: Oh god why the hell are you texting me?

AH: Cause you got pissed that I used a prank.

TJ: Except it was MY prank

AH: I designed it!

TJ: And used it on me! So it’s fucking my prank bicth!

TJ: Goddamnit why the fuck I can text bithc when you invade my space?

AH: That’s a you problem. Anyway- you hate the ABC’s, right?

TJ: Except for like, two, all with a firery passion, why? 

AH: Enjolras was the AIDS joke guy and Jolly decided that shaving cream works great for donuts.

TJ: Where?

AH:? 

TJ: Donuts from where?

AH: Wawa?

TJ: I want their balls. I’m in. 

TJ: Dont question it too much. They’re giant douches that need to be shown that just because you’re a fucking philosophy major does make the shit you spurt any greater. They’ve been needing humility since sophomore year and a fucking reality check. Plus you don’t fuck donuts like that. And you don’t GET MY PRANK.

AH: that. That was quick. I haven’t even offered anything.

AH: How the fuck did you type faster than me?

TJ: Text and Talk, whore.

AH: God I fucking despise you, asshole

TJ: Good. Alliance until they crumble, and then back to nemeses again.

AH: Fine. I have to go and sanitize my phone.

TJ: Same.

* * *

JM: Aaron.

JM: What Did You Do?

AB: From my knowledge, nothing- although I take it I did do something, so it was unintentional.

JM: Jefferson And Hamilton Are Collaborating.

AB: I’m sorry, my phone is acting up. I did you just texted that Hamilton and Jefferson are collaborating?

JM: Yes

 

JM: By your silence I take it that you had no idea how that happened also

JM: They’re in my room with blue prints and actually getting along. I’m actually in shock. 

JM: Well, they’re sniping at each other, but for them they’re generally getting along.

JM: This is not a hallucination. This is real.

JM: I smacked Thomas. Hamilton laughed. This is real.

JM: Will further investigate.

 

AB: I.

 

AB: What

* * *

MR: hey Eliza

ES: ?

MR: Is there another prank war going on?

ES: Yeah. Alè and Jo explained it to me. 

AS: Wait, who?

ES: Alex and John. We have pet names! <3 

MR: Isn’t Alex already a nick name?

AS: Pet names. Which are grosser.

TB: You mean cuter.

AS: I mean disgusting. 

TB: I think it’s adorable. Sometimes Rinny and I do the same- I’m Beau! <3

AS: I’m sorry- who’s Rinny?

TB: Aaron

TB: Aaron<Er-rhin<rin<Rinny

AS: The fuck kind of white girl nonsense is that?

TB: The kind were he gives me muffins and helps on hair day. I’m also Flower, because I’m beautiful as all the flowers. 

MR: That’s super cute and I love it. But prank war-

TB: those fuckers deserved it, after what they did to Herc.

ES: Oh no question. But also- I don’t know when it’s going to end. 

MR: That’s why I’m a bit worried. Last time it took all the deans threatening expulsion for it to end. And I would hate it if they get in trouble again.

ES: I’ll talk to both of them. They’re pretty stubborn, but hopefully the threat of expulsion is enough to stop them.

TB: I’m glad that they’re bringing the group down a peg. Maybe after this they’re finally let women into their group.

AS: Seconded. But hey- I let Alex crash in my dorm as he was running/hiding from security.

ES: Wait, what?

AS: Remember when all those balloons and pigeons? Then.

TB: In another life, he was an evil mastermind, I swear

MR: That or a Republican.

* * *

AS: That was

TB: Holy sHIT

MR: If I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t of believed it

AB: oH, my god

PS: What??? What happened????

TB: So we’re in a war

AB: apparently John got pranked by Marius, since Marius doesn’t like John, and The Revolutionary Crew took offense and sought out revenge against the ABC’s

PS: ABC’s?

AB: A group of philosophers and philosophy/law majors that forget common sense. Tragically mostly white.

MR: oh shit Aaron’s laying on the T.

AB: So it escalated- as anything with Alex escalates- and apparently they managed to rope in Madison and Thomas into the picture, so now we have our third pranking war since freshman year. Also, the problem is that while The Quartet & The Duo are good at making sure the pranks hit their itended victims- the ABC are not. 

TB: People come in covered in so much weird shit due to misfired pranks.

AS: The ABC’s managed to make this elaborate prank involving pies and trip wire. Except the guys didn’t trip the prank, but the mormons did.The Quartet came back and filled some of their mattresses with shaving cream and mashed potatoes. 

PS: Gross. >xp

TB: But the magical part was that today, one of them tried to do a guerrilla pie attack on Lafayette.

MR: And today is when they had a MAJOR fashion project that they had to wear, so they were wearing it.

PS: Oh no...it didn’t...

MR: No

AB: No

AS: No 

TB: No. what happened is that one of them came in screaming with the pie in hand, and then all of a sudden two Blurs came running on both sides and stop in front of Lafayette and then ALEX LITERALLY SWIPED THE PIE IN MID THROW AND THOMAS THEN THREW ALEX INTO THE AIR LIKE THEY FUCKING PRACTICED IT A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES AND ALEX SLAMMED DUNKED RHE DAMN PIE INTO THE OTHERSFACE WITH THE FUCKING GRACE OF A BBALL PRO LIKE THEIR ENTIRE LIVES WERE LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT. 

MR: Holy fu ck it was like maGiC

AS: It looked so damn smooth, legit. It was fucking amazing holy shit.

AB: I saw the holy damn thing. And then after they both congratulated each other and fucking told Enjolras to back the fuck off and then they high fivced im sho o k

PS: H o l y s h i t

ES: Im

ES: So. In love at the moment Im s w o o n i n g

MR: Aw

TB: Cute

AB: Eh

PS: Adorbs

AS: Gross

ES: g2g, gonna kiss my h e r o <3

AS: Oh my god, she really does have hearts in her eyes.

* * *

JL: HOLY FUCJ

HM: WHATHBFUCJOMGFDHA

GL: I SWEAR. I WAS SUPER FUCKING ATTRACTED TO BOTH OF YOUR HOAH FUCJ

JL: LAY OFF MY MAN

GL: BOI U CAN KEEP HIM BUT THAT WAS AMAZING. THAT WAS SOME RUPAUL MAGIC THERE

JL: LIKE THE FUCKING WIN AT EVERY SPORTS MOVIE

HM: A GODDAMN ANIME MOMENT 

JL: TARANTINO COULDNT EXECUTE IT BETTER 

HM: DUDE WHERE ARE YOU I NEED TO GIVE YOU THE BEST FRIEND HUG OF YOUR LIFE

AH: I FEEL ALIVE

AH:ALSO RUNNING

AH: CAUSE WE DID IT WHILE SECURITY WAS WATCHING 

AH: BRB RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES

JL: ALEX WTF 

JL: I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HM: This g r o u p.

* * *

JM: Where are you???

TJ: HIDINNG 

JM: Where? 

TJ: BRB HIDDIGN

JM: I Am Concerned.

* * *

AH: Oh holy shit I nearly died.

ES: Alex!

JL: Alex!

ES: Stop typing and get over here!

JL: I see you typing- stop and look up.

AH: Oh my god you guys that was exciting af- So apparently Jefferson knows some escape routes from our first prank war but we had to evade the guard which was that difficult since we ran into the northern dorms and hid in a rando dorm which btw, met a

AH: Oh.

 

AH: Oh. My god.

AH: I love both of you <3

ES: BED

JL: NO PHONE

AH: Coming!

* * *

JL: That’s what WE said

 

ES: John.

 

JL: Had to.

 

* * *

JM: [image sent]

JM: Your services have been terminated.

GL: Noted.

GL: Though you didn’t need to send me a picture?

JM: I’m aware

GL:...

GL: Are you gloating?

JM: You bet your damn ass I am.

* * *

JM: [image sent]

 

AB: Why.

* * *

AH: Right. 

TJ: Well. 

TJ: Deleting you & conversation.

AH: New phone who dis

TJ: Fuck off 

AH: Die

* * *

MR: So it’s been quiet.

AB: It’s over.

TB: Deans Got involved. Marius’ dad was PISSED.

AS: Also the Dean disbanded the ABCs.

AB: That’s new. Why?

AS: Some how, the Dean of Philosophy found out about the ‘boys only’ rule, and since it literally goes against the school rules, automatic disbanding. They can’t bring up the club to the student council for four years. Also, the teacher in charge of the club is put on review, since they’re not tenured.

ES: Holy shit.

AB: I wonder who

AS: I told you those fuckers needed to be brought down.

ES: I’m glad that everything is back to normal, at least.

AB: Not quite. Madison and Jefferson are actually dating.

AS: WHAT THE FUCK.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> GUys I wrote the partnership MONTHS ago and I cannot but think of that one vine but Alex and Jefferson and agajsklbs. 
> 
> FUCK ME I FORGOT HOW I FORMAT THIS GODDAMNIT. 
> 
>  
> 
> I think I made Angelica too bitter, but, eh. I totally head canon her as the type to become the best goddamn lawyer that she brings everyone down to their knees. 
> 
> Also, was gonna have responses back from the ABC’s...then realized not exactly involved in the Les Mis fandom, so- there went that idea.


End file.
